The Hurt Inside

I wrote in a journal a lot in college: I wrote this one in response to a break up my one roommate had with her boyfriend:

There is a hurt I have inside me
Gnawing at the core of me
Something I strive to keep well hidden
Nobody knows of its existence

Early morning I read your words

Felt the familiar sting of tears
Though they came as I expected

Nothing prepared me for the fallout.

There would be no reconciling.
There would be no more as it was.
There would be no more you and me.
There would be no more of anything.

So I walked long with my head hung low
Replaying all things in my mind
How could I end up here without you?
Why would you do this to me?

There were no simple answers
You would never let me close again
You said all your words so wisely
And set them all in stone.

So I am left here with many pieces
Nothing I do puts them together
You went on ahead without me
Inside my head I still ask ‘why?”

And there is still a hurt inside me
Still gnaws the core of me
I keep it so well hidden
Nobody knows of its existence.